Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
