at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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