i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
