seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
