Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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