Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
