try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
