they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
