I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
