Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
