My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
