like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
