hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
