She is in my trunk
someone get that fucking seahorse.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
pop tarts are not kleenex
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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