I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
