Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
