I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
