Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
