I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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