Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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