ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
