i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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