just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
