The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
