I just saw a hot homeless man
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
