Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We have started to decorate penises.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
