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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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