I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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