im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
This girl is more easily done than said...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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