I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
