he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
