She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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