so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
