I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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