I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
