My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
