Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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