Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
