if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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