Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
