woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
