I heard we made out
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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