Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
