her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
