Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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