I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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