The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
