My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
