I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
