I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
