At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
