did you get engaged???
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
